Visiting Your College Student: 21 Things to Do, Bring, and Know
Visiting your college student gives you a chance to see their campus in a completely different way now that they actually live there.
Between our two families, we’ve had six kids go off to college. Over the last ten years we’ve had lots of visits for Family Weekends, football games, birthdays, graduations, and everything in between. There’s nothing like visiting them in their new home away from home. It’s a great chance to get a glimpse of their day-to-day life.
During those visits we got to meet the friends and roommates we’d heard about and see where they spent their days. Each trip included some meals out and a grocery run to restock their dorm or apartment. The best part was always having some time with them.
Whether you’re headed to your first Family Weekend or visiting another time, we’re sharing the things we’ve learned that can help you plan your trip and make the most of your time together.
Before Visiting Your College Student
A little planning before you go can make the weekend easier, especially if you’re visiting during Family Weekend, Homecoming, or another busy campus weekend.
1. Find Out What They Already Have Going On
Before you start making any plans, ask your student what their weekend looks like. They may have classes on Friday, a work shift, a club or sorority/fraternity event, a big assignment to finish, a test to prepare for, or plans with friends.
Knowing their schedule and obligations ahead of time will help you figure out when you’ll actually have time together. This can also help you set your expectations so you aren’t disappointed when they have other things they need to do.
2. Ask What They Want to Do
Your student may already have a few things in mind for your visit. Maybe there’s a restaurant they’ve been wanting to try, something happening on campus they want you to see, or somewhere off campus they’ve been wanting to go.
Giving your student the chance to weigh in before you begin making reservations or other plans means everyone gets to have a say in the weekend.
- Is there anything you want us to bring from home?
- What does your schedule look like while we’re there?
- Is there somewhere you’ve been wanting to eat?
- Do you want to invite your roommates or friends to a meal?
- Are there any on-campus activities you want to do?
- Is there anything you’ve been wanting to do off campus?
- Would you like to stay with us at the hotel?
3. Book Your Hotel or House Rental Early
Hotels can fill up quickly during college events like Family Weekend, Homecoming, football games, and graduation. Once the dates are announced, consider booking a refundable room, even if your plans aren’t final yet.
Don’t be afraid to look for places to stay that are a little farther from campus if you’ll have a car. If you’ll need more than one hotel room, you may want to rent a house through AirBnB or VRBO.
4. Don’t Plan Every Minute
If you’re visiting during one of the college’s busy weekends, it’s a good idea to make reservations ahead for any restaurants or activities you really don’t want to miss. But leave some time open too.
You may hear about a restaurant you want to try, find out about something happening on campus, or decide to check out a place your student mentions once you’re there. Some of the best parts of a visit can be the things you didn’t plan ahead of time.
5. Ask What They Need From Home
Check with your student a few days before you leave to see if there’s anything they want you to bring. Campus visits are a great time to bring any packages that were delivered to your house or items they left behind. Depending on the weather, this may also be a good time to swap out seasonal clothing.
Mom Tip: Make a batch of their favorite cookies, banana bread, or some other homemade treat they love.
- Packages or mail
- Prescriptions filled at their home pharmacy
- Forgotten or replacement items
- Homemade food or treats
- Seasonal clothing they may need as the weather changes
- An empty XL moving bag for anything they want to send home
Do You Have to Go to Family Weekend?
Family Weekend or Parents’ Weekend can be a fun time to visit, but it might not work for every family. Travel costs, work schedules, younger siblings, or having more than one kid in college can make that particular weekend difficult.
If you have a first-year student, ask how they feel about it before deciding to skip. It can be hard to watch roommates and friends spend the weekend with their families when yours isn’t there.
And if you are going, ask your student if they have a friend or roommate whose family can’t make it. Invite them to join your family for a meal or other activity so they aren’t left out.
If Family Weekend doesn’t work for your family, talk about it ahead of time and make another plan. Visiting on another weekend may be less crowded and expensive, and you’ll still get to spend time with your student and experience their college campus.
Anne’s family had one year when all three of her kids were in college at the same time. Her twins’ schools scheduled Family Weekend on the exact same weekend.
She and her husband didn’t want to choose one campus and have the other daughter feel left out. They talked about it as a family and came up with a third option: have their own family weekend somewhere between the two colleges.
They still got to have time together, and neither girl felt like her parents chose her sister’s college over hers.
Things to Do When Visiting Your College Student
6. Let Them Show You Their College Life
Now that they’ve lived on campus for a month or so, let your student show you around. Visit their dorm or apartment, walk by their classrooms, check out where they study and hang out, and even grab a meal or snack at their favorite on-campus spot.
7. Meet Their Roommates and Friends
You’ve possibly heard several different names by now. This is a great opportunity to finally put some faces with them. Keep it casual and let your student make the introductions.
Remember: they may be visiting with their family too, so don’t worry if you don’t get to meet anyone.
8. Take Their Friends Out for a Meal
Invite your student to bring a few friends or their roommate along for lunch, dinner, or brunch. It’s a fun way to get to know the people they’re spending time with, and most college students are pretty happy to get a free meal.
9. Have a Meal With Just Your Family
Make sure you save at least one meal for just your family. Let your student choose a favorite restaurant or somewhere they’ve wanted to try. This is a great time to spoil them a little and take them someplace nicer than they’d normally go on a college student’s budget.
10. Go to Something Happening on Campus
Colleges often plan a variety of activities for families during Family Weekend. We’ve seen everything from 5Ks to chocolate tastings to tailgates. Check the schedule ahead of time to see what interests you and your student and whether you need to sign up.
If you’re visiting on another weekend, check the college’s calendar for sporting events, concerts, theater performances, or other activities you might want to do together.
11. Treat Them to Some New School Swag
A trip to the bookstore is always fun when you’re visiting campus. Let your student pick out a new hoodie, hat, T-shirt, or other school gear they’ve been eyeing. It’s an easy way to give them a fun treat while you’re there.
12. Explore Their College Town
Let your student show you some of the places they’ve discovered off campus, like a favorite coffee shop, hiking trail, or shopping area.
This is also a chance to explore somewhere they haven’t been yet. Maybe someplace that’s a little too pricey on a college budget or somewhere that’s hard to get to without a car. Pick something you’d all enjoy checking out and go exploring together.
- Visit a farmers market
- Get tickets to a sporting event
- Go bowling
- Visit a museum or local attraction
- Play Topgolf or mini golf
- Get manicures or pedicures
- See a movie
- Find a local festival
- Go apple picking or something seasonal
- Take a hike
- Go to an escape room
- See a show
13. Go Shopping and Restock What They Need
A grocery store, Target, or Walmart run is always part of our college visits. Let them stock up on their favorite snacks, drinks, toiletries, and other supplies they may have run out of. They’ll love not having to carry everything from a student parking lot or on a shuttle bus!
14. Help Them With an Errand
Having a car and an extra set of hands can make some errands a lot easier. Maybe they need an oil change and you can drop off their car while you’re out doing something else. Or maybe they have a bulky return or need to pick something up across town. Whatever it might be, doing it together, and maybe grabbing a coffee while you’re out, is usually way more fun.
15. Invite Them to Stay With You
If you have the space, invite your student to spend a night where you’re staying. A comfortable bed, a room to themselves, a clean bathroom, and a little break from dorm life can feel like a real treat. Your student may still choose to head back to campus for the night, but it’s nice to give them the option.
When AnnMarie’s son was in college, her family often rented a mountain house for the weekend when they’d visit. It gave them plenty of room for his siblings to come along, and some of the houses were dog-friendly so they could bring the family dog too.
Having more space than a couple of hotel rooms meant they could make one of his favorite meals, hang out around the fire pit making s’mores, and enjoy having everyone under one roof. For graduation, they rented a larger house with room for extended family and even hosted his graduation party there.
If you’re traveling with the whole family, renting a house can give you more than a place to sleep. It can become part of the visit itself.
A Few Things We’ve Learned About Visiting Our College Kids
After years of visiting our kids at college, there are a few things we wish we’d known from the beginning. Some of them took us a visit or two to figure out.
17. Be Flexible With Their Plans
Even if you’ve talked about the weekend ahead of time, don’t expect your student to spend every minute with you. Plans change quickly on campus and they may decide they want to go out with friends after you drop them off.
We both learned this during our first Family Weekends. AnnMarie’s son wanted to spend more time with his new friends than she’d expected. Anne’s son was pledging a fraternity and ended up spending much of the weekend shuttling the brothers’ families around as their designated driver. Anne’s family only saw him for a few hours the entire weekend.
Neither weekend looked quite like we’d pictured, but our kids were building lives of their own at college. Once we adjusted our expectations, it was a lot easier to enjoy the time we did have with them.
18. Give Them Some Downtime
Your student may need time to study, finish an assignment, take a nap, or just recharge for a few hours. Use that time to relax at your hotel or rental, grab a coffee, or do a little exploring on your own.
19. Be Careful About Commenting on Their Room or Apartment
While you’re there, you may notice the laundry piled up in a corner, an unmade bed, or a bathroom that could definitely use some cleaning. You may also pick up on things about their roommate or how they share the space that you wouldn’t necessarily choose yourself…
Unless there’s an actual problem, try not to comment on everything you see. They’re figuring out how to live on their own and with other people, and that can take some adjusting.
20. Don’t Make the Whole Weekend a Check-In
It might be tempting to ask about everything you’ve been wondering about from home, especially if they aren’t the kind of person who shares a lot on the phone or over texts. Give yourself permission to just hang out with them. Some conversations will happen naturally when you’re driving or walking, eating together, or sitting around with nothing planned. No one likes feeling like they’re being interrogated.
21. Know When It’s Time to Head Home
After looking forward to a visit, it’s natural to want to stay as long as possible. But by Sunday, your student may be ready to get back to their normal routine. Pay attention to their cues and don’t stretch out the visit or the goodbye just because you’re not quite ready to leave.
We wish we could say that saying goodbye gets easier, but it never did for either of us. Give them a big hug, tell them you love them, and remind yourself that you’ll see them again soon.
And start thinking about when you can visit again!
If you have any questions or suggestions, contact us or leave a comment below.
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